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Heineken Virus has led to zero deaths so far

Following the news announced last week that Heineken are launching their own virus to compete with Corona, initial testing has shown the zero % fatality rate. The team at Heineken labs have been injecting test patients with 200ml of Heineken a day and other than some sickness and headaches, the virus has yet to cause […]


Man celebrates completing diet after skipping one meal

David Jason (44) from Hendon, London, is holding a small celebration this weekend to mark the completion of his first diet in 17 years. David told his friends of his relief at being able to eat normally again. “Yesterday I skipped lunch but today I’m really happy I can eat as much as I like […]


New Smartwatch ensures you’re always fashionably late

A new smartwatch has been released by Frapple that claim to make geeks 10% ‘hipper’. The watch which has a calendar feature has a variable clock on it which is never 100% right. Watch designer Gerhart Twohands told the Daily Jews that the concept is to confuse users into being late. “I used to set […]


Report: Consuming water addictive

A new report out from the Ministry of Brexit Obfuscation has found that drinking water is highly addictive. The report used existing data sets around the world, which showed that humans get addicted to water at a very young age. Report writer Bernard Resevour told a packed audience that this problem is more severe than […]


UN report shows vegan diet contributes to climate change

A new report out today from the UN working group on climate change includes previously unknown data relating to methane emissions. It is well established that vegan food sources have a considerably lower carbon footprint than omnivorous diets. This is down to land, water and food requirements for cattle. Now the scientists have factored in […]


Scientists invent time travel to kill composer of Hava Nagila

A small team of scientists from the Technion (Institute of Technology) in Israel have invented time travel. The team conceived the project as a way of going back in time to kill Hitler. However, they decided a more pressing matter was to kill the composer of Hava Nagila before it was written. In 2014 Hava […]


Makers of BroigusApp to release ShpilkesApp

The makers of successful mobile phone application BroigusApp which is now being used by most of the worlds Jewish population have announced a companion app called ShpilkesApp. Founder of BroigusInc the company behind the apps told us “I’ve made so much money from the first one, but I still can’t afford a house in Tel […]


New app tracks which of your friends and family are broigus with you

This reviewer found the app very easy to use. I synced my phone contacts and Facebook friends with ease, I managed to block 34 people in moments. I especially enjoyed setting up my broigus anniversaries. For example, I set-up a notification that said: “On this day in 1996 Doniel Richjew had the Moskowitzes for Shabbos dinner and didn’t think to invite me”.


Climate change too depressing to solve says UN

The UN has published a new report on catastrophic climate change which claims that addressing the problem is just too depressing.  The document introduction says “We’ve gathered together over 500 peer-reviewed papers on climate change and included the latest news reports which suggest that humans are now ingesting more than 5 grams per week of […]

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