Survivors bored of the apocalypse already

A poll of Covid-19 survivors found that 93.24% of people are already bored of the apocalypse. The survey which polled 3.2bn people, mostly in countries inflicted with the deadly new coronavirus was carried out by Morris-Ipsos.

“I really thought it would be more action-packed than this” Dave Woodwood 29 from Southend told us. He went on: “I always imagined the apocalypse as portrayed on TV. People scrambling around for essentials like food and water, killing the infected with household items that have repurposed into makeshift weapons and looking for safe shelter. So far all I’ve done is sit around my flat waiting for the Deliveroo driver to drop my lunch off.”

Sally, 27 from Luton, was equally surprised. “I thought by now I’d be one of the few women left of child-bearing age and therefore loads of men would be fighting over me. Instead, I started to learn how to knit.”

“I was walking in Central London yesterday. It reminded me of the movie 28 days later, but boring and shit.” Mark from Enfield told us.

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