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Trump runs home crying from creche after other kids laugh at him

US President Donald Trump ran home from the NATO creche crying today after some other kids laughed at him in the playground. Mr Trump (68), reportedly told his babysitter with tears streaming down his face: “Trudeau and Macron were mean to me in the playground today, so I left school early.” He went on to […]

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Greggs new vegan product – including pork pie flavoured vitamins

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Climate change activist arrested for giving a shit

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Jesus facial reconstruction created based on new DNA evidence

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Science

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Man celebrates completing diet after skipping one meal

David Jason (44) from Hendon, London, is holding a small celebration this weekend to mark the completion of his first diet in 17 years. David told his friends of his relief at being able to eat normally again. “Yesterday I skipped lunch but today I’m really happy I can eat as much as I like […]

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New Smartwatch ensures you’re always fashionably late

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Report: Consuming water addictive

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UN report shows vegan diet contributes to climate change

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Sport

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Local Jewish sports team delighted to have taken part

North West London Jewish sports team Maccabi Somethingorother has played a game this week. Manager and Head coach Asher Garfunklavich told the Daily Jews he was delighted his team had taken part. “They say it’s the taking part that counts, it’s true”, he told us.” The team are in a league with other teams who […]

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Spurs consult fans on best word to slur Jews

SAN DIEGO, CALIFORNIA - JULY 20: Natalie Portman of Marvel Studios' 'Thor: Love and Thunder' at the San Diego Comic-Con International 2019 Marvel Studios Panel in Hall H on July 20, 2019 in San Diego, California. (Photo by Alberto E. Rodriguez/Getty Images for Disney)

Natalie Portman to become professional Hammer Thrower

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English fans overjoyed as people they don’t know and never met win a game

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UK Politics

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UK divided over which sack of shit to vote for

A new poll out today by Morris Ipsosovich shows the electorate shifting their votes to the two main parties. The party led by the blue sack of shit is now at 39% with the party led by the red sack of shit closing the lead now up to 32%. We asked voters today how they […]

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Polling company accused of “pro-Jewish” bias

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Dumb and Dumber movie mistaken for UK election debate

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Tory party to be nationalised under Labour government

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