Man desperate for human contact makes dentist appointment

Brian O’Miles, a 52-year-old engineer from County Kerry, Ireland, told the Daily Jews, he was so desperate for human contact he has booked a Dentist appointment in the hopes of physical touch during lockdown.

On a zoom call, Mr O’Miles told us of his frustrations. “I live in a two bed flat with my cat Mussolini (not named after the fascist). Frankly, the cat is getting fed up with me, begging for attention and strokes. I’m also so horny and have watched every video on pornhub.”

Mr O’Miles isn’t stopping there. He went on to tell us his plans to make sure he gets physical touch at least once a week during lockdown. “Next week I’m going swimming in the local pond, I’m hoping a duck or fish might rub against me while I swim. The week after I’ve booked an appointment with my proctologist”.

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