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Review: Micky Mouse tackles addiction in new Disney+ show

Disney has launched its new streaming service in the USA, Canada and New Zealand with a strong back catalogue of TV and film and original shows such as the Star Wars series ‘The Mandelarion’. Another new show is called ‘The Mouse’ and features a fat, middle-aged Mickey Mouse fighting a crack addiction. The live-action show […]

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Boris promises more floods if northerners don’t vote for him

Following a Cobra meeting today to discuss the crises of flooding in the north of England, Boris Johnson took to the streets to threaten locals into supporting the Conservative party in the elections. The north of England, which has only recently got electricity and running water, has been declared an emergency zone due to heavy […]

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Jewish Chronicle predicts apocalypse if Labour wins election

This Jewish Chronicle (the official sanctioned mouthpiece of the UK Jewish community), has published an editorial warning that the final apocalypse of God will be happening 12 December unless everyone in the UK votes for the Conservative party. “God is angry with the Goyim” the editorial claimed. “Only Boris is the true Messiah who can […]

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Man celebrates completing diet after skipping one meal

David Jason (44) from Hendon, London, is holding a small celebration this weekend to mark the completion of his first diet in 17 years. David told his friends of his relief at being able to eat normally again. “Yesterday I skipped lunch but today I’m really happy I can eat as much as I like […]

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Chris Williamson to stand for Tories after Labour ban

Suspended Labour MP Chris Williamson has announced he will be standing as a Conservative MP after being barred by the party NEC from standing for Labour. The Labour national executive will not allow a suspended MP to stand for office. Mr Williamson was suspended (twice) after repeatedly baiting the Jewish community and defending antisemites. Mr […]

FILE PHOTO: Britain's Labour Party leader Jeremy Corbyn learning to gesticulate like a Jew.

Corbyn learning Yiddish to lure Jewish voters

Reports leaked from a closed-door meeting between the Labour leadership and the Board of Deputies suggest Jeremy Corbyn has been learning Yiddish in a bid to repair relationships with the Jewish community. Mr Corbyn met with Board of Deputies Chair, Marie Van Damme this week during which he reportedly told Mrs Van Damme of his […]

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How to blame the Jews for the election result you didn’t want

With the UK general election just weeks away, antisemites need to be ready with all their blaming when things don’t go there way. We’ve produced a short handy guide for how to blame Jews for your party losing the election. ┬áConservatives lose – Why did any Jews vote for Labour? They’ve put an antisemite (Corbyn) […]

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Gerrer Rebbe: “Halloween is Jewish”

A top Chassidic Rebbe has declared Halloween a Jewish festival after discovering a Sefer (document) describing how Moshe Rabbeinu (Moses) would dress up as a Witch and scare local children when B’nai Yisrael (the children of Israel) was wandering the desert. The newly discovered tome shows how the younger children of Israel would ask for […]

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Local Jewish sports team delighted to have taken part

North West London Jewish sports team Maccabi Somethingorother has played a game this week. Manager and Head coach Asher Garfunklavich told the Daily Jews he was delighted his team had taken part. “They say it’s the taking part that counts, it’s true”, he told us.” The team are in a league with other teams who […]

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Massive erection special – taking a look at the candidates for PM

As MP’s vote on which day a general erection will happen, the Daily Jews takes a look at the leaders of the main parties who could become PM. Boris Johnson (Conservative Party) – The clue is the name, but can Johnson have a good erection? He promised to deliver Brexit by 31st October ‘No matter […]

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