Currently Browsing: UK Politics
Chris Williamson to stand for Tories after Labour ban
Suspended Labour MP Chris Williamson has announced he will be standing as a Conservative MP after being barred by the party NEC from standing for Labour. The Labour national executive will not allow a suspended MP to stand for office. Mr Williamson was suspended (twice) after repeatedly baiting the Jewish community and defending antisemites. Mr […]
Corbyn learning Yiddish to lure Jewish voters
Reports leaked from a closed-door meeting between the Labour leadership and the Board of Deputies suggest Jeremy Corbyn has been learning Yiddish in a bid to repair relationships with the Jewish community. Mr Corbyn met with Board of Deputies Chair, Marie Van Damme this week during which he reportedly told Mrs Van Damme of his […]
How to blame the Jews for the election result you didn’t want
With the UK general election just weeks away, antisemites need to be ready with all their blaming when things don’t go there way. We’ve produced a short handy guide for how to blame Jews for your party losing the election. Conservatives lose – Why did any Jews vote for Labour? They’ve put an antisemite (Corbyn) […]
Massive erection special – taking a look at the candidates for PM
As MP’s vote on which day a general erection will happen, the Daily Jews takes a look at the leaders of the main parties who could become PM. Boris Johnson (Conservative Party) – The clue is the name, but can Johnson have a good erection? He promised to deliver Brexit by 31st October ‘No matter […]
PM Johnson calls for General Erection
With news today that the EU has agreed to a three month Brexit delay, Prime Minister, Boris Johnson, has called for a General Erection to be held 12th December 2019. Mr Johnson told reports that a massive erection involving the entire UK is the only way to get Brexit done. “What we really need now […]
Boris receives medal from Galactic Princess for saving Brexit
PM Boris Johson updated the cabinet on his overnight work this morning. A leaked memo reported the following: Legions of rebel forces and civilians from the four corners of the galaxy travelled to a faraway land today to watch Chewbacca, Luke Skywalker and Boris Johnson receive medals from Princess Leia. The medals were awarded for […]
Government plans death sentence for those blocking Brexit
In a last-minute gambit by Prime Minister Boris Johnson, the government is proposing instituting the death penalty for MP’s who vote to block Brexit. Mr Johnson announced the new measures at a press conference this morning. He told reporters, “I vowed to get Brexit done by 31st October by any means possible, and I meant […]
Labour conference votes to let antisemitism fester for another year
As the Labour Party conference came to a close this year, delegates were involved in a robust debate on antisemitism. A motion was passed to, yet again, only partially address antisemitism in the party and to let it rot some more. The motion called on Labour to do little more on antisemitism. “Antisemitism is a […]
Attorney General: I am a fucking knob head
Attorney General Geoffrey Cox has defended the legal advice he gave to the government which suggested prorogation was legal. He did, however, admit to being a “fucking knob head” in an address to Parliament. “I’m not sorry about anything. The Prime Minister was justified in lying to the Queen and the public, and I am […]
Parliament to resume from Prison tomorrow
Boris Johnson has announced this afternoon that following the ruling that his prorogation of Parliament was unlawful, Parliament will sit again with the first session at Wandsworth Prison. “Given that I and my cabinet have broken the law, we’ve asked the speaker to recall Parliament tomorrow but to sit in prison.” Mr Johnson told the […]
