Massive erection special – taking a look at the candidates for PM

As MP’s vote on which day a general erection will happen, the Daily Jews takes a look at the leaders of the main parties who could become PM.

Boris Johnson (Conservative Party) – The clue is the name, but can Johnson have a good erection? He promised to deliver Brexit by 31st October ‘No matter what’. That turned out to be a load of spunk.

Jeremy Corbyn (Labour Party) – Mr Corbyn has been denying Mr Johnson an erection for some time now. Today is the day he’s ready to give him one, but Boris might not like what he gets. He’s 100% clear that he either wants Brexit or he doesn’t. Dislikes foreskin.

Jo Swinson (Lib Dems) – Jo Swinson used to be a faithful sycophant to David Cameron. She ensured his erection was sealed with success. Now she commands a party made up of pirates and defectors who want to stop Brexit at all costs unless it gets her into a coalition in which case she will roll over and take one for the team.

Ian Blackford (SNP) – Has the raging erection he’s been asking for. Probably will win a few seats in Scotland wherever that is. Lib Dems could do well in Scotland which would be ‘hard on’ them.

Nigel Farage – (Brexit party): Farage has his ‘opening’. His party are a bunch of racist wankers so will probably do well in this erection.

Caroline Lukas (Green) – Will win her seat again, touch WOOD.

Unknown (The Independent Group/ Change UK/ Sometime) – A flaccid bunch.

Others – No ones cares about the others.

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