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PM Johnson calls for General Erection

With news today that the EU has agreed to a three month Brexit delay, Prime Minister, Boris Johnson, has called for a General Erection to be held 12th December 2019.

Mr Johnson told reports that a massive erection involving the entire UK is the only way to get Brexit done. “What we really need now is the whole country cum together with a huge erection. I know it’s going to be very very hard for everyone in the country, but that’s what we need to make progress”.

In response, leader of the Opposition, Jeremy Corbyn says he has been preparing himself and his party for a General Erection for many months. “The front bench have been preparing good and hard for an erection. It’s something we didn’t want unless they took a no-deal `Brexit off the table, but now we’re ready to shaft the Tories”.

Jo Swinson leader of the Lib Dems and former Policeman on Family Guy, told the Daily Jews she wants the erection even earlier. “We’ve been working with the SNP on this. We’re desperate to have an Erection on the first possible day. I’m personally gagging for it.”

Some labour back-benchers who are afraid of losing their seats have said to be against the idea. Charles Flobbyface, MP for Nuneaton told the Daily Jews he wasn’t buying it “Frankly if I fail in an erection it will make me look impotent. “

Another Labour MP, Skiffy McFarlon, was also unsure. “I’m not sure how well Labour will do if you look at the last erection, it turned out to be a load of old wank”.

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