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Jews 100x more likely to suffer from coronavirus panic

A survey by Morris-Ipsosovich has found that Jews in the UK are 100x more likely to be terrified of coronavirus than Goyim.

The poll which ran between 1-2 pm yesterday a randomised sample of Jews and Goyim were asked: “On a scale of 1-10, how afraid are you that coronavirus will result in a shlept-out and painful death for you”. 87.23% of Jews were sure they would die soon, whereas only .87% of Goyim felt the same.

We asked our readers why they thought the virus was happening:

Moishe from Boringwood: It’s a punishment because of the gays

Michael from Brighton: It’s a punishment because of the homophobia

Michelle from Bury: I forgot to say the Shema before I went to bed on the 12th of December. I believe this could be the source

Miriam from Bushy: This is the earth’s way of limiting the danger that humanity poses our planet, also people should stop having sex with monkies

Mark from Belzise Pk: I heard that rich people don’t get this virus, so I’m not really bothered about it.

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