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At hustings, Labour leadership hopefuls bid to make the Jews shut up

The Jewish Labour Movement together with Labour Friends of Israel, along with Mossad, hosted a labour leadership hustings event last week.

All four leadership candidates, Becks Bailey, Thorny Berry, Lisa Nandos-Chicken and Sir Keir Poshboy had previously signed up to the Elders of Zion pledges*.

On the night, Nandos-chicken was the toast of the room when she declared “I’ll say and do whatever you want for you to support me, I’m not going to win anyway”.

The other candidates did their best to show they understood the antisemitism issue and that it wasn’t just about holocaust denial and blood libels.

Becks Bailey reassured the crowd that she’s a Beck so she can’t hate Israel. Sir Keir Poshboy was at great pains to say that some of his best friends are zionists and his parents were proper working-class like. Thorny told the audience she’s regularly shagged by a Jew, so she knows how both Jews and Palestinians feel.

The evening was considered a success by all.

*A reminder of the Pledges (taken from the official Jewish Voice for Labour website)

  1. Israel runs the world
  2. Rothschilds run Israel
  3. Jews are lizards
  4. Corbyn is the devil
  5. Palestinians don’t exist
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