English fans overjoyed as people they don’t know and never met win a game
In a once in a lifetime event, the England Cricket team won a game of Cricket yesterday, something to do with beating New Zealand to win the World Cup.
The game was tied even after a ‘Super Over’ where both sides had to bowl with blindfolds on. To decide the winner the game replied on the Victorian era, Wigglesworth-Bainstree rule, which required both teams to select a player to consume as much tea and crumpets as possible in 120 seconds. As was widely expected the English player David Fattestbottom was the clear winner.
Superfan Rory Yockshire told the daily jews, “I didn’t watch the game, but I’m ecstatic that people who happen to live in England, beat people who don’t live here at some game using bats and balls”.
Marvin Simpleton, a New Zealand fan had travelled to the UK specifically for the game, he told us, “I really thought that people who happen to live in New Zealand would be able to beat people who happen to live in England at taking turns to throw balls and hit balls with a piece of wood. I’m gutted”.
England will soon be facing their arch-rivals, Australia in an event that involves burning pieces of wood, a spokesman for the MCC told us, “we will probably lose as Australia are really good at burning stuff”.