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Last person to claim PPI checks into psychiatric asylum

The last person in the UK to have not claimed PPI, Robert O’Dear from Lincolnshire, has been identified.

Mr O’Dear has reportedly checked into a private psychiatric facility to deal with the trauma of receiving 300 calls a day. The calls come from the three remaining claims companies who are hoping for a taste of his juicy PPI claim.

The second to last person to have not claimed PPI, Mary Moneyless from Winchester, committed suicide last week after vowing never to claim PPI. She was hunted down by a wild pack of PPI agents and killed herself while in captivity.

The PPI agencies have incentivised their staff to claim for O’Dear by offering them a small Island in the pacific. Our researchers found that ‘The Organisation Inc’ owns all the PPI agencies. We contacted them for a statement. A spokesperson told us “Settling the last PPI claim is one of the final pieces left in our master plan”.

Our researcher has been missing since that phone call.

Meanwhile, we asked Mr O’Dear how he planned to pay for his stay in the psychiatric facility. “I’m probably going to have to put in a PPI claim to cover it”, he told us.

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