No antisemitism in Labour party say antisemitic Labour members

The Jewish community in the UK breathed a huge sigh of relief as a survey of Labour members who are antisemitic has shown that none of them has seen antisemitism in the Labour party.

Marie Van Dam, the President of the Board of Deputies, who represent 1% of British Jews according to the same survey, told us of her relief. “The survey is especially comforting because if anyone was going to notice antisemitism in the Labour party, it would be antisemitic Labour members”.

The survey was sent to 300 Labour members who were all found to have posted antisemitism on their social media by BasherJew, an anonymous social media account run by the Elders of Zion.

Survey firm Morris Ipsosovich conducted phone interviews with several respondents to verify the findings. George Groy, Survey manager for the firm told us he was sure the results were accurate. “I spoke to a woman called Suzanne Jones, she told me she’d never seen any antisemitism in the Labour party, then she went on a rant about how the Jews fund Tommy Robinson. Lovely lady.”

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