Corbyn’s clone to stand in leadership election
Jeremy Corbyn’s biological clone has announced he will be standing for the Labour leadership.
The clone, named as Jeremy+ Corbyn, was created three years ago as a backup plan by campaign group Momentum should the original Corbyn be hit by a bus or even more unlikely, lose the election.
Jon Lansman, token Jew of Momentum, told the Daily Jews how the clone was made. “We took some cells from Jeremy and grew them in a lab, we then incubated the cloned cells in a liquid cocoon until he was fully maturated. We then took Jeremy’s memories and implanted them into the clone. We deleted a few bits first such as the memory of his mother being at Cable Street, which was getting irritating.
Len McCluskey, Generalisimo of Unite told Daily Jews that Jeremy+ was the best candidate to replace Jeremy as the leader. “It’s clear the electorate didn’t like Jeremy on the doorstep. We were thoroughly defeated. However we need to retain the legacy of Jeremy and the incredible work he’s done, so we’re going with his clone.”
Labour MP’s were confused by the development. Fellow leadership contender and loudmouth Jess Phillips told us there are many questions that the clone needs to answer. “Has he been programmed to apologise? Has he been programmed to stop inviting genocidal terrorists for tea in parliament? Will he have his own allotment or will he share it with Jeremy? These are some of the questions I have for Jeremy+”.
Corbyn advisor, Seamus Milne warned however that Jeremy+ would have to replace Jeremy in every way and therefore Jeremy might have to be put in a meat grinder or sent to the moon. “You can’t have two Corbyn’s running around. It’s clear Jeremy lost the election so he should have to forfeit his place on earth for Jeremy+”.
Meanwhile, when asked, the original Jeremy Corbyn said he would remain neutral in any leadership election, or decision on his life being replaced by a clone, and respect whatever the party members decided.