Jewish Chronicle predicts apocalypse if Labour wins election

This Jewish Chronicle (the official sanctioned mouthpiece of the UK Jewish community), has published an editorial warning that the final apocalypse of God will be happening 12 December unless everyone in the UK votes for the Conservative party.

“God is angry with the Goyim” the editorial claimed. “Only Boris is the true Messiah who can lead the world to a heavenly Brexit and a racism-free Britain.”

The editorial went on: “Jeremy Corbyn is the antichrist who will slaughter all Jewish men, women and children if elected. While Boris will bath young BAME children in his heavenly gaze.”

“The choice is clear. Heaven or Hell”. It’s up to you filthy goyim”.

Some online commentators have questioned if the statement has gone far enough, claiming a Labour victory could be the worst thing to happen to Jews since God invented the Bris.

Other commentators are critical of the stance the paper has taken. Shimmy Middleclassovich from Finchley told the Daily Jews that the Jewish Chronicles coverage was misleading. “The anti-Christ is clearly the formation of either a Corbyn led or a Boris led government. Only Luciana and the Lib Dems can save us from gehenna which everyone knows has a shit coffee shop.

In response to the editorial, a Labour party spokesperson denied Jeremy was the antichrist or the saviour. “We prefer to think of Jeremy as a modern-day Joan of Arc, who as a medieval catholic Frenchwoman, probably also hated Jews.”

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