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Why did you become vegan?

A question that vegans never get asked is: ‘Why did you become vegan?’

So the Daily Jews decided to interview a bunch of vegans for you and here’s what they told us:

Shiela, a fashion designer from Hackney: “Animals are ugly, I don’t eat ugly”

Kent, an artist from Chelsea: “So I can be all superior to my friends”

Rachel, Librarian from Kent: “Because I have nothing to talk about at dinner parties”

David, Auditor from Edgware: “Because I love hearing the same questions over and over again from meat-eaters.”

Simone, Nutritionist from Bromley: “I had too much B12 and needed to get rid of it.”

Lucy, Retailer from Watford: “I like making my friends work hard for me when they invite me to dinner.”

Pete, BT Engineer from Sussex: “I’m sexually attracted to animals. I want to make love to them, not eat them”

Betty, retired from Stanmore: “Guilt makes all my life decisions for me.”

Reuven, Shmutta trade from Stamford Hill: “Because the Spaghetti monster in the Sky told me to”

Chris, Taxi Driver from Kent: “PETA has started sending me death threats, and it just wasn’t worth it anymore.”

Tina, Dancer from Woolwich: “Because I have an eating disorder you insensitive bastard”

Brian, Engineer from Camden: “Because I needed an edge with the chicks”

Amanda, Beautician from Guildford: “Because I’m a reincarnated Rabbit you fuckwit”

Donny, Bartender from Harlow: “Because my best friend went vegan and I have no capacity for independent thought”

Tony, food safety engineer from Tottenham: “So I could lose weight in the first few months only to put it all back on again and more when I worked out all the vegan junk food.”

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    • Jill
    • August 16, 2019
    Reply

    Can’t breath, rolling ..on..floor. Laughing..too..much,..love it. Daily Jews you rock my f**king kosher world. More, more, more, PLEASE!

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