Black Magicians for Corbyn forms to attack mainstream Witch narrative

Guest reporter: Satan Rothschild

In response to the recent criticism of Labour Against the Witch Hunt by the Witches Union (see our previous report), Witch activist group Black Magicians for Corbyn has released a statement saying, “The Witches Union does not speak for all witches. The Witch community is a broad church, well, not a church, obviously, but the point is that there are lots of people with different opinions. We do not consider Labour Against the Witch Hunt’s use of the term “Witch hunt” to be trivialising the great tragedies that befell our people in times past.

It is an appropriate comparison for highlighting the prejudice and smears in the mainstream media against Mr Corbyn. And let’s be honest, all the burnings and witch trials were a really long time ago – if we can’t use them as a metaphor for political point-scoring, then how are they still relevant?”

When asked for comment, Grand Witch Mervis of the Witches Union had not heard of Black Magicians for Corbyn. After scrying in his crystal ball for a couple of hours, he said,

“Black Magicians for Corbyn are not representative of the Witches community, at best they make up 5%. Most of the so-called Black Magicians for Corbyn can’t even perform spells or turn people into toads.” He went on to say, “Enough is enough. British witches are fed up of hearing time and time again from Labour that they are opposed to anti-semitism, witch hate and all forms of racism. Lumping us in with other minorities demonstrates an inherent ignorance of the specific discrimination against our community and its long-standing history in this country, and fails to acknowledge that we are more important than the others.”

A labour spokesperson responded, “We are keen to open a dialogue with British Witches to listen to their concerns and to restore their confidence in the Labour Party. The Labour Party takes all complaints of anti-semitism and witch-hate extremely seriously and we are committed to challenging and campaigning against it in all its forms. Whether they be toad, cat or money-lender.”

Jeremy Corbyn has indicated that he is keen to see anti-witchism training put in place for Labour activists at both party and local levels, and has enlisted the aid of Black Magicians for Corbyn, who will be working paw in money-grubbing hand with Jewish Voice for Labour. “After all,” said Mr Corbyn, “Jews and Witches have a lot in common. Like sacrificing children and drinking their blood.”

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