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Tory leadership candidate to privatise Brexit process if he’s elected leader

William Burns-Lewis, Tory MP for Hartleton and former Celebrity Big Brother contestant has upped his rhetoric by saying ‘real tories support the privatisation of the Brexit process’.  

In a statement to the press Mr Burns-Lewis said “the government as usual has proven that it has no business running the affairs of the UK, we need to privatise everything, that should solve the problem” he went on to say “this parliament can’t get a brexit agreement through, this parliament can’t agree on a no deal, this parliament can’t agree on a second referendum or general election.  It’s therefore obvious that to move Brexit ahead we should privatise the whole process.

Mr Burns-Lewis has experience in privatisation.  His local constituency surgery has been outsourced to the Samaritans, to much success since 2011.  In 2013 he said “The people of Hartleton live in such awful conditions and rather than trying to solve their problems, I had a stroke of genius to replace my constituency surgery with the Samaritans.  Constituents surveyed feel on average 87% less suicidal than when they had to come visit me. Job done”

When asked about who might be interested in buying the Brexit negotiations, Mr Burns-Lewis said it would be an open bidding process.  “I’ve heard Richard Branson is interested in bidding, the Chinese and Saudi’s have made some initial moves but my money is on the French”.

Mr Burns-Lewis or Bewis as he was known by his housemates on Celebrity Big Brother, has confirmed that if he fails to win his leadership big he would consider moving abroad because ‘the country is so buggered’ however he would definitely be interested in appearing on ‘I’m A Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here’ first.

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