Mothers demand the right to return faulty children

A group of Mothers are demanding changes to the trade descriptions act that would allow them to return faulty children within 14-years of giving birth.

The group called ‘My child is a little shit’, is campaigning to force hospitals to take back children. They also demand the hospitals offer a full refund (of the costs they incurred) if the children turn out to be little buggers.

Gits Island is a small island off the coast of Australia which proponents of this plan suggest would be an ideal place to send the children. The children would be equipped with rations to last two years and a Netflix account each to keep them anaesthetised.

A government spokesperson told the Daily Jews that this policy change could be costly to implement. “We expect the annual costs of this to be around £100bn, including the cost of shipping the children to Gits Island”.

Failed parent and spokesperson for ‘My child is a little shit’, Ana Shamed told the Daily Jews that the plan was humane for both the parent and the child. “The idea that you one shagged someone so therefore you should suffer your whole life because the thing that came out is a monster is barbaric.

The children will be happy in the crates filled with sand and cheap plastic toys we’re planning to ship out to the Island. We’ll ensure they have access to fresh-water, chips and free porn.”

MoherMoWe asked Ana Shamed’s daughter Sarah for a comment. She told us to fuck off.

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