UN accuses Israel of creating illegal settlements on the moon

(caption: Israeli tardigrade clearly seen holding an AK47 assault rifle)

The United Nations General Assembly today passed resolution 2897 condemning Israeli aggression through its efforts to colonise the moon.

The resolution came promptly following the news that an Israeli space vessel had left tardigrades on the earth satellite.

A statement from the UN body read: “Israel has once again proven it has no interest in international (space) law. While we don’t have evidence of extant microbial life on the moon, the new organisms may dispossess existing living organisms and create their apartheid system.”

Social media has been abuzz with #israhellapartheidmood trending globally.

A spokesperson for the Israeli foreign ministry insisted the tardigrades were sent to the moon purely for defensive purposes. “We have no interest in a long term presence on the moon. We have placed civilian tardigrades there merely as a buffer to protect our borders from possible attack”.

The US has vowed to veto any possible sanctions against Israel. A white house spokesperson told us “we respect the right of the Israeli government to defend themselves against all threats.”

We requested a statement from the colonialist tardigrade invaders, as of going to press we have not had a response.

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