Teenage Boris fan delighted at ‘cool’ Tory new cabinet

Teenage Boris Johnson superfan, Tarquin Smith, has told friends this week that he is delighted at the new government cabinet that the PM has announced.

Tarquin, who is 15 lives in Cambridge with his parents, Lord Terrance Johson Smith of Trailbend, a former fortune 100 CEO and Elizabeth Anne Beatrice Diana Smith. He says there has never been a cooler cabinet.

The Daily Jews caught up with Tarquin after his polo lesson this past weekend. He told us: “Boris gets it, he knows the people like no other politician. Finally, we have a PM who speaks to common people like me.”

We asked Tarquin what made the new cabinet cool. “Firstly, it’s very diverse. We have Sajid, Patel and that Jew Raab, which makes it much easier for us to close to the door on immigration. Also, I’m hoping Patel brings back hanging.

Gove is so cool. He cares about the environment a lot, which is essential. But he also hates poor people, which is also necessary. Then there’s Matty Hancock in charge of the NHS, which is going to be helpful for when we sell it to the Americans after Brexit.

We asked Tarquin if he was hoping for a hard Brexit .”Well yes. Papa says we’ll have our country back soon and if things go pear-shaped, we’ll move to Singapore.”

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