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Poll: 66.6% of Tory members would vote for Armageddon to secure Brexit

A new poll today conducted by Jewgov has found that 66.6% of Conservative party members would accept armageddon and Satan as their lord if it secures a no-deal Brexit.  Hendon local branch member Rick Morningstar told the Daily Jews “it’s not that we want Armageddon, it’s just that it’s preferable to all these foreigners coming to the UK, stealing our jobs and women”.

Yesterday, the leading candidate for Tory party leader and Prime Minister he would do a deal with the Devil if necessary to get Brexit through, although he already sold his soul to the dark lord several years ago to secure his tenure as London Mayor.  Mr Johnson said, “I’ll probably have to sell the souls of all of the UK’s children to get this one through but at least we will have our £350m a week back from the EU which I definitely didn’t make-up”.

A spokesperson for Satan said, “We really didn’t think the Tory party was this evil but sure, if they want to destroy life on earth as they know it, just to secure Brexit, our master is in favour”.

Tory Chairman Brandon Lewis told the Daily Jews “Brexit will screw most of the country but our members will be 5% richer and in any case, they can easily leave the country if they have to.”

A spokesperson from the Labour party told us: “The Labour party takes all complaints of anti-semitism and witch-hate extremely seriously and we are committed to challenging and campaigning against it in all its forms.”

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