Theresa May announces intention to run for Israeli Prime Minister

“After thinking about it long and hard, I’ve decided that what Israel really needs right now is a failed Prime Minister who has no humility, heart or ability to get the job done.  “

In a verbal statement May said “Given that Prime Minister Netanyahu may be imprisoned very soon – for getting caught doing normal things that politicians do – I realised there is a gap in the market for someone who has a proven inability to get big international situations resolved.  Like the UK and Brexit, Israel faces the unique challenge of trying to hold off resolving its long dispute with the Palestinians.

I certainly believe I have all the right credentials.  Like my friend Bibi, I’m willing to allow the minority ultra right-wing to dictate my course of action whilst at the same time never really actually doing anything other than avoiding the inevitable.

I realise that I gave up after only three years at it here in the UK, but in terms of Israeli politics, that’s a very long time.”

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