All no-deal Brexit experts “wrong” says Gove
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Minister for Brexit clusterfucking, Michael Gove, today spoke to an exclusive audience of wealthy, fat, white men. He told them that all the experts who are predicting no-deal Brexit problems are wrong.
Mr Gove was speaking at a special meeting of the Tory bastards club and wanted to assuage any worries they might have. He said: “All the analysis is wrong and I’m right. But don’t worry because in a worst-case scenario, it’s only the lower class poor people, pensioners, disabled, and other vulnerable people in society who will suffer. Just make sure your portfolios are all moved off-shore before October 31st.”
Mr Gove re-iterated that the government were still hoping that “the stupid foreigners in the EU will come to their senses and remove the backstop so we can have a deal”.
We asked Mr Gove how it is that all the experts are wrong. He told us: “They’re a bunch of left-wing, hippy liars and idiots and yes that includes: the Bank of England; the British Retail Consortium; the office for budget responsibility and of course our own advisors”.