Chief Rabbi to appear on Love Island
In an effort to reach out to less affiliated Jews, the Chief Rabbi has agreed to appear as a contestant on next year’s Love Island. Whilst the Chief Rabbi is married, his office assures us there will be no halachic problems arising from his stint on the show: “There are enough creative solutions in […]
White Smoke Arises From Federation Headquarters: “Mir Hobn A Poypst”
Hamodia writer, Nosson Horo, brings us the latest from the Hareidi community Heimishe Yidden have begun a month of celebration of the appointment of the new Av Beis Din and Rov of the Federation, HaGaon R Shraga Feivel Zimmerman, Shlita To The Moon And Back. After weeks of feverish speculation as the Beis Din were […]
Black Magicians for Corbyn forms to attack mainstream Witch narrative
Guest reporter: Satan Rothschild In response to the recent criticism of Labour Against the Witch Hunt by the Witches Union (see our previous report), Witch activist group Black Magicians for Corbyn has released a statement saying, “The Witches Union does not speak for all witches. The Witch community is a broad church, well, not a […]
Boris Johnson hits out at main leadership opponent, Boris Johnson.
The frontrunner for the Tory leadership and Prime Minister, Boris Johnson, has hit out at his main rival and competitor, Boris Johnson, Claiming that Boris Johnson is not fit to be Prime Minister. Mr Johnson was speaking to the press this morning as part of his media blitz in campaigning to win the forthcoming […]
Jeremy Corbyn appoints Jackie Walker as Rabbinic advisor
In the wake of Labours latest antisemitism scandal relating to Jew-baiter, Chris Williamson being handed back the whip, party Leader Jeremy Corbyn has announced he is cracking down on antisemitism by appointing Jackie Walker as Rabbinic advisor to the party. Ms Walker was recently conferred with Rabbinic ordination by a Jewish ‘court’ made up of […]
Climate change too depressing to solve says UN
The UN has published a new report on catastrophic climate change which claims that addressing the problem is just too depressing. The document introduction says “We’ve gathered together over 500 peer-reviewed papers on climate change and included the latest news reports which suggest that humans are now ingesting more than 5 grams per week of […]
Labour demonstrates zero tolerance policy on racism by readmitting antisemite
The Labour party today issued a strong statement against antisemitism in the party by readmitting one of its most high profile antisemitic MP’s. Chris Williamson who had been suspended for antisemitic comments was today un-mercilessly readmitted to the party and will now have to take the Labour whip as punishment. A Labour spokesperson said “An […]
False alarm as terror attack turns out to be TV licensing men
Hendon Jews held a vigil last night until, that is, news reached them that the terror attack they thought they were experiencing was actually a TV licensing van. Helen Goldstein from Hendon Court said she heard screaming coming from her neighbours on both sides and was terrified when she heard the bell ringing at 8:45pm […]
Theresa May announces intention to run for Israeli Prime Minister
“After thinking about it long and hard, I’ve decided that what Israel really needs right now is a failed Prime Minister who has no humility, heart or ability to get the job done. “ In a verbal statement May said “Given that Prime Minister Netanyahu may be imprisoned very soon – for getting caught doing […]
Witches Union to sue ‘Labour against the Witchhunt’
500 years after hiding away due to humanities hatred of them, the ancient order of the Nottingham Witches and Warlocks union (NWWU) has made itself known to the world again. This in response to a continued campaign by the group ‘Labour against the Witchhunt (LAW)’ which claims antisemitism in the Labour party is made up […]
