Jewish Chronicles success due to ‘hysteria & fearmongering’ report says
A leaked report from The Daily Jews research department has shown that the online publication is way behind its competitors such as the Jewish Chronicle and the Jewish News. Analysis has shown that the Jewish Chronicle is 1000% more hysterical and 850% more fear-mongering in its articles which explains why it leads the Daily Jews […]
Dumb and Dumber movie mistaken for UK election debate
A new poll by YouGov has revealed that 200k people watching Dumb and Dumber last night thought they were watching the election debate between Corbyn and Johnson. The pollster said after the film that 51 % of those thought Boris (Jeff Daniels) came out on top, whereas 49% thought Jeremy (Jim Carey) came out on […]
Tory party to be nationalised under Labour government
Labour party leader, Jeremy Corbyn, today outlined plans to nationalise the Conservative party should they win the election. Mr Corbyn was talking to a forum called ‘Brexit on-the-fencers’ about his plans for maybe or maybe not pursuing Brexit, when he announced the new policy. He told the audience: “For too long, the Conservative party has […]
Review: Micky Mouse tackles addiction in new Disney+ show
Disney has launched its new streaming service in the USA, Canada and New Zealand with a strong back catalogue of TV and film and original shows such as the Star Wars series ‘The Mandelarion’. Another new show is called ‘The Mouse’ and features a fat, middle-aged Mickey Mouse fighting a crack addiction. The live-action show […]
Boris promises more floods if northerners don’t vote for him
Following a Cobra meeting today to discuss the crises of flooding in the north of England, Boris Johnson took to the streets to threaten locals into supporting the Conservative party in the elections. The north of England, which has only recently got electricity and running water, has been declared an emergency zone due to heavy […]
Jewish Chronicle predicts apocalypse if Labour wins election
This Jewish Chronicle (the official sanctioned mouthpiece of the UK Jewish community), has published an editorial warning that the final apocalypse of God will be happening 12 December unless everyone in the UK votes for the Conservative party. “God is angry with the Goyim” the editorial claimed. “Only Boris is the true Messiah who can […]
Man celebrates completing diet after skipping one meal
David Jason (44) from Hendon, London, is holding a small celebration this weekend to mark the completion of his first diet in 17 years. David told his friends of his relief at being able to eat normally again. “Yesterday I skipped lunch but today I’m really happy I can eat as much as I like […]
Chris Williamson to stand for Tories after Labour ban
Suspended Labour MP Chris Williamson has announced he will be standing as a Conservative MP after being barred by the party NEC from standing for Labour. The Labour national executive will not allow a suspended MP to stand for office. Mr Williamson was suspended (twice) after repeatedly baiting the Jewish community and defending antisemites. Mr […]
Corbyn learning Yiddish to lure Jewish voters
Reports leaked from a closed-door meeting between the Labour leadership and the Board of Deputies suggest Jeremy Corbyn has been learning Yiddish in a bid to repair relationships with the Jewish community. Mr Corbyn met with Board of Deputies Chair, Marie Van Damme this week during which he reportedly told Mrs Van Damme of his […]
How to blame the Jews for the election result you didn’t want
With the UK general election just weeks away, antisemites need to be ready with all their blaming when things don’t go there way. We’ve produced a short handy guide for how to blame Jews for your party losing the election. Conservatives lose – Why did any Jews vote for Labour? They’ve put an antisemite (Corbyn) […]
